The black dog and the bathrobe

Winston Churchill was a tenacious old curmudgeon, who with great strength and resolve, lead England through one of its darkest periods in history. His world was literally crashing in around him yet he would take the time to go sit in a garden and do landscape painting. It was only by letting go of the left side of the brain, the logical, that he could see a little more clearly how to solve the problem he was confronting. Conflict resolution was not all that he was seeking. He was looking for a brief respite from his companion that he referred to as the black dog that sat in the corner. Winston Churchill was hounded by depression.

There are stories of various people that I have kept with me over the course of my life. I found the stories interesting and thought provoking. Also they resonated within me. I am writing about two such people. These two are very different individuals. They lived very different lives, in different countries, at different times in history. There were two qualities, though, that they did share.

The other person is the twentieth century American artist, Jim Dine. His work is somewhat figurative yet very bold and expressionistic. He is well known for a series of semi abstract paints of hearts. The series of his that had the most impact on me though, were his paintings of a single bathrobe. Even before I knew the story behind them, I was drawn to them. Jim Dine also suffered from depression. There were some days that he could not even get out of bed. When he did he would walk around wearing his old bathrobe. As his depression lifted and he slowly recovered the bathrobe became his subject. Perhaps it was symbolic of his journey back from the edge of darkness.


Because of my disability, OCD, I also suffer from bouts of depression. OCD and depression go hand in hand. The last few weeks I have been on that edge of darkness. It is a place that drains my energy, physical and creative, and leaves me exhausted and exhausts my family. It wreaks havoc with my familial relationships, as I become a dark and brooding person. I have to struggle against it to make the least attempt to do any drawing or painting. As much as it interferes with my art it also emboldens my painting. Like the old saying goes, “whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”

Once the cycle has completed itself and the fog lifts from my mind I fall in love with life all over again. To be creative is an affirmation of life, of all things living. Creativity is an affirmation of the wondrous mysteries of the universe. Without these forays to the edge of that dark plain I would not be able to fully appreciate the light, color, and love around me. To be left tired and listless makes me want to take advantage of my energy and passion when it returns. Making art is a reflection of what I, the artist, have found and experienced on my journey. It doesn’t matter if it is gray and dreary or bright, colorful and warm. Good or bad, right or wrong, dark or light, it is all part of my journey. This journey is my story and my paintings are the illustrations that I leave along the way.


Both paintings are done on prepared strathmore paper. The both measure 12.75" X 19.75". The lighter one was completed in 2004 and done in oil pastel. The darker version was done in 2006 and done in oil.